Narcissist Parental Alienation Syndrome: A “Legal” Weapon of Mass Destruction of Family, Parent, and Child’s Well-Being
Narcissist parental alienation syndrome,working in collusion with a flawed family court justice system with a covert agenda, is a social oppression in the United States. Together, this alliance destroys targeted parents, undermines the well-being of their children, annihilates families, and consumes their assets.
Selfishness and greed spew forth in the EVIL ALLIANCE between the alienating parents who manifest a narcissist parental alienation syndrome, their facilitating lawyers hired to do their bidding, and the family divorce courts serving the Crown’s financial interests across this country.
Parents, Children, Families, and the Wealth of the Country are
Under Attack, and Being Dismantled!!
My name is Darla Makiyr Wright. I am a happily married woman who thankfully survived divorce court in the past as graciously (to both parents, by the way) as can occur. I have a Master’s Degree in Marriage, Family, and Child Counseling.
My husband, Jonathan, and I met and married three years ago in Utah. Last year, we moved to Hawaii, because in Utah the winters were too cold, and the growing season was too short. We wanted to be able to grow our own food, while living closer to the equator.
Having received a graduate school training in family therapy, and seeing the pain of this EVIL ALLIANCE’s ATTACK on American families, I stand here as a Watchman (watchwoman) today, sounding the alarm on the evil strike undermining the welfare of our families, children, people, wealth, and country.
We Each Need To Speak Up!!
Sound the War Cry, Far and Wide!
Wake up the families of America!!
Narcissist parental alienation syndromeparents…
in collusion with the divorce courts in this country, work hard (albeit unaware of the part they play) to dismantle the very fabric of this country, en masse. It’s a take over and a take down…. whether the people realize it or not.
DARK TRAGEDY DESTROYS OUR NATION!!
LET US EXAMINE WHAT HAS BECOME OF US
If you read through til the end, I believe you will get this as the EVIL TAKE DOWN it exposes itself to be.
Once we IDENTIFY the problem, and how we got here, we can take the necessary and required steps to RESTORE, RECOVER, AND HEAL from the astronomical amount of damage.
We must be a united front against the problem. We need to know WHO the enemy is (the Crown…see siting above). The enemy only uses our willful participation (though we’re ignorant of the actual total costs).
We need to never participate in this hostile takeover, which can only occur when one of our family members begins to manifest hate toward us, rather than the love they once professed.
The devil is cunning, indeed, to get us to attack each other.
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AND HOW WE HAVE DEALT WITH DIVORCE
I also happen to be married to a victim of a narcissist parental alienation abuse ex-wife, who “legally” stole his three sons, without Jonathan ever even receiving any legal notification.The whole divorce occurred behind his back.
In the end, after giving his ex-wife everything else she asked for, the court orders stated Jonathan could only see his sons once a month in Monroe, Louisiana, while paying for supervised visitation in an institution!! And, Jonathan is allowed no phone contact with his three sons, though, apparently, Jonathan is the emotionally healthier parent between the two.
This past summer (2018) his ex-wife moved the children to Mississippi, out of state. Again, Jonathan was not notified.
This image reminds me of why his ex did everything she could to keep him from showing up to court to state his case.
Jonathan lives daily with a grieved heart for the three sons stolen from him.
Though he deals daily with the loss of his first three sons, he is a wonderful husband and father. He has so much love in his heart… He adopted my six children, and lives with all of them in Hawaii, as their father. Two are young adult children, yet they are still living under our roof. All six children enjoy having their relationship with their new dad, while they still have a relationship with their biological dad.
Incidentally, the biological father of our children (my ex-husband) is on mutually friendly and caring terms with us. He calls and talks with the children. He visits with them when he can. We share the children with him.
Divorce in each of our individual lives has cost us dearly. It has brought us on our knees to YaHuWaH, seeking His forgiveness, restoration, and protection.
WE now embrace the wisdom of living by His righteous rules, precepts, commandments, and judgments. We live our lives submitted to His commandments. We live in a covenant relationship with Him, on His terms, according to His Word. And, He covers us.
Covenants are Supposed to be
According to theWord of YaHuWaH, we each must make a covenant with the Creator, known in Scriptures as the everlasting covenant. Marriage covenants are with YaHuWaH and your spouse, and are supposed to be until death parts us. And, little adhered to fact… (because people generally don’t read the “OLD” testament)… YaHuWaH requires of us the oaths that we make.
If people kept their covenants, there would not be divorce courts. Divorce courts are there because we break our oaths to YaHuWaH and to our spouses… Nevertheless, there’s a harsh learning curve in life and love, or the lack thereof.
Divorce court is about the last place you should desire to ever drag your family through. Divorce court is the hospice house for the poisoned and terminal family. The family gets killed off, and the court decides who’s paying for the family’s funeral. The reason they get to do this is because the groom and bride made the government the silent majority partner in their marriage when they got a marriage license from the county, in the first place. (Let that sink in….) You probably noticed in the Scriptures no one had a marriage license signed by the county.
LIVING OUTSIDE OF AN EVERLASTING COVENANT RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CREATOR
The world’s ways of doing things are evil, greedy, power-hungry, lacking morals…and that’s the result of trying to live with no regard, nor submission to the Creator. In the Hebrew language, Gentiles mean those nations (and citizens of those nations) who do not live in covenant with and submitted to the Creator. This word is also translated heathen.
SEEK THE ANCIENT PATHS
My husband and I have a restoration ministry, calling people back to doing scriptures things in scriptures ways, returning to the ancient paths, layed out for us in the Hebrew and Aramaic Scriptures (aka “Old and New Testaments”).
Through our restoration service, we teach the Father’s real name, which is YaHuWaH. We also teach people to watch, keep, guard, and observe the Creator’s commandments…. to return to the ways of Scripture.
The Creator’s Name, YaHuWaH, is in all the Dead Sea Scrolls. Yet, the King James translation, known as “The Authorized Version” (authorized by WHOM??), states in its foreward it replaced YaHuWaH’s Name and title, out of consideration of the tradition of the Jews to not speak His Name. However, in His Word, He says to declare His Name.
So far, as of mid-2018, about 20 restored name Scriptures, are available, in publication, and/or online. So, when you see me write YaHuWaH, or YaHuWaH ALoHA or ELoHiYM, I am speaking about the One we all grew up knowing as LORD and G-D. Only, I am speaking the truth to you.
Similarly, the name of the Messiah is not Jesus. That name has only been around since after the first edition of the King James translation in 1611, when the J letter began to be used, and the Jesuits had the name, Jesus, to replace the Latin Iesus, in the second edition. The name of the Messiah , according the Restored Name Version of the King James translation is Yahushua, as seen below, an excerpt from Acts 4 (http://yahushua.net/scriptures/):
EDUCATION AND STATUS ON A CORPORATE LADDER
DOES NOT INDICATE MORALITY
Interestingly, education and graduate degrees do NOT mean someone is a wonderful person, full of integrity and righteousness. Neither does it mean one is a great parent. How we can tell if a person is righteous or not is if the person lives by the Word of YaHuWaH (aka the ‘bible,’ also that word is really a loaded pagan origins… it’s really the Hebrew Scriptures). People should strive to improve themselves to a closer walk with YaHuWaH, the Creator, with higher and higher sanctified living.
If, after reading these truths, you desire to return to the Father, Jonathan and I are here to help. You can contact me at mailto:email@example.com. You can also send me a Facebook friend request to Darla Makiyr Wright: https://www.facebook.com/Shepherds7. Okay, if you’ve stuck with me this far, roll up your sleeves. We’re gonna expose this thing!!
ANCESTRAL IDENTITY AMNESIA, BROKEN VALUES,
SILENT SLAVERY, AND MISPLACED TRUST
As a nation, many of our problems is because we have naively believed our happiness was what was most important, and we have lived as a Gentile nation, not in covenant with YaHuWaH. We have made poor marriage partner choices, and then we did not want to sleep in the bed we made. We have lived in a disposable culture, and believed relationships are disposable and replaceable, if we even choose to start a new relationship. We have believed in this country’s government to help us solve our problems, both in allowing the government to sanction and license our marriages, and then we turned to them for approval in how to terminate our marriages and put to death our families. We have not turned to YaHuWaH, the ALoHA, and to His Word. We have not realized the concerns of the government are to protect the elite people and to make more money for the elite people, who control the world (aka “the Crown”). This has caused us to serve an elite class of people as slaves, without even knowing it.
We also suffer from an ancestral identity amnesia, and do not know the United States is one of the 13 tribes of “Jacob,” and of the ten hidden/northern tribes, kicked out of the land of Israel. The whole book of Hosea is written to these ten northern/hidden tribes, and most of them have been hidden in christian churches (as wide a group as that includes, currently over 48,000 different denominations, because they all have a different version of the truth. It also includes a lot of people that never attend church, but are family members of those who go to church). You can read this 14-chapter book here in the restored name ISR, here: https://biblehub.com/isr/hosea/1.htm.
Instead of repenting returning to serve and to obey YaHuWaH, the people rebelled, which brought them a curse for 2,730 years. As a people, we have chosen, wholesale, to live life on our terms, not the Father’s terms. By the other two tribes, we are called the “Goyim,” (translated as “Gentiles” or “nations” or “heathens”) who live outside of a covenant relationship with YaHuAH. And, when we don’t like our circumstances, we ask the government and the medical community to fix things for us, to help us live blessed lives, not cursed lives.
Yet, the Creator, YaHuWaH, gave our ancestors the blessings we would receive when we obey His Word (found in Deuteronomy 28:1-14), as well as the curses for disobeying His Word, His Covenant (found in verses 15-68): https://biblehub.com/isr/deuteronomy/28.htm
We have underestimated our adversary, our opponent, who lurks about seeking whom he may devour.
EASE OF READING, PURPOSE OF WRITING
For ease of reading, instead of using “he or she” and “him or her” each time I speak about the alienating parent and the victimized parent, or “target” parent, I will give the hypothetical alienating parent the identity of mom, mother, she, and her. Likewise, I will give the “target” parent the identity of dad, father, he, and him. It could go either way, of course. If your dad is the alienating parent, and your mom is the “target” parent, just reverse them in your mind, while reading.
I have written this as a watchman, sounding the alarm to the people who live in this country. It is excellent for everyone to become aware of the problem and start to understand we are all in this mess together. We have to restore what our Father had in mind for us. This is a huge mess!! It has caused countless wounds to all of us.
Yet, I have written it, mostly, for the purpose of helping the abused child or adult child and the “target” parent of the narcissist parental alienation syndrome parent find facts, seek restoration, extend forgiveness, and to begin to heal.
Also, the narcissist parental alienation syndrome-manifesting parents will have the opportunity to face the damages they caused in entering into this EVIL ALLIANCE against their family with their attorneys and with the family divorce courts.
FAMILY DIVORCE COURT SYSTEM,
PARTNERS IN CRIME,
“LEGAL” BECAUSE THEY OPERATE AS ONES ABOVE THE LAW
AND IT’S ALL ABOUT CORPORATE GREED,
“LEGAL” AND MAXIMIZED CONFISCATION OF CHILDREN AND ASSETS, WITH COMPOUNDING INTEREST AND FUTURE CUSTOMERS
(THE CHILDREN AND THE CHILDREN’S CHILDREN)…
ALL WITH THE HELP OF THE NARCISSIST PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME PARENT
(WHICH THE COURTS REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE)
The broken family law system in the United States of America Corporation perpetuates the narcissist parental alienation syndrome. This “legal” system money-making scheme, causing indebtedness TO AMERICAN FAMILIES nation-wide, capitalizes on the dysfunctionof the narcissistic parent.
Many courts “legally” steal children and altogether strip away the rights of both children and one of the parents, frequently. We need to look at this beyond our own individual families. It is a pandemic fatal family flu!!
A LOOK AT FAMILY DIVORCE COURT IN NEBRASKA
I recently saw an article from the Lincoln Journal Star, from Lincoln, Nebraska. Dr. Les Veskrna writes: “According to an article in The Nebraska Lawyer, the official publication of the Nebraska State Bar Association, our current CHILD CUSTODY SYSTEM IS UNCONSTITUTIONAL. Please read the article, below.
So, the Judges fought AGAINST legislation designed to bring about greater transparency in child custody cases, and instead attempted to change the law designed to keep biased judicial training materials a secret. Hmmmmmm.
So…. CHILD SUPPORT GUIDELINES DISCOURAGE joint custody….
even though research shows the best outcome for the children is for their parents to have joint custody.
And, the Supreme Court refused to make recommended changes to the support guidelines to minimize the problem.
Let’s go over the last paragraph again:
Something smells ROTTEN and EVIL…
Suddenly, I smell CORPORATE GREED!!
It’s not just as small a problem as YOUR FAMILY, with your divorced parents….
In this article, Dr. Les Veskrna reveals you have some odds stacked against you if you spend less than 35% of your time with your dad, the alienator’s “target” parent. You are at higher risk of poor outcomes including the following:
Exodus 20:12 says: Respect your father and mother, so that your days are prolonged upon the land which YaHuWaH ELoHiYM is giving you. YaHuWaH’s Word tells us how to live a long life.
But your narcissist parental alienation syndrome mom, because of her greed and anger and longing to have your dad erased from your life, sought the court to give her full custody while convincing the court your father is “unfit” and “unsafe”. Therefore, your mother unknowingly colluded with the court (who probably does know) for your outcome to be compromised to “a poor outcome,” .
Lower Educational Attainment
Statistically, children who see both parents at least 35% of the time achieve higher learning and education.
Statistically, children who see both parents at least 35% of the time are able to get through their teens without either getting pregnant or impregnating a girl ( if you’re male).
Physical and Mental Health Problems
Children/adult children thrive physically and mentally when they see both parents at least 35% of the time. Shy of that, children/adult children manifest physical and mental health problems.
Drug and Alcohol Use
Children/adult children engage less in drug and alcohol use when they see both parents at least 35% of the time. However, when visitation falls below this percent, children/adult children are much more likely to drug and alcohol use.
Children and pre-adult teens are more likely to find themselves in Juvenile Detention when they spend less than 35% of the time with each of their parents.
Spending time in Juvenile Detention can tend to set an adult up for a path bent toward prison, and repeat offenses with stiffer penalties, even to the point of “Three Strikes You’re Out” felonies.
MOM WAS IGNORANT OF THE TOTAL COST
TO ALL THOSE AROUND HER,
INCLUDING ESPECIALLY HER CHILDREN,
OF CUTTING THEIR DAD OUT OF THEIR LIVES,
BECAUSE OF HER NARCISSISM, GREED, AND HATRED
Highly likely, your mom didn’t know about these statistics and issues of life and mental health and peace and wholeness when she nominated herself as winner takes all. Probably, she was ignorant of the toll she would exact on her children’s lives when she forced dad to drop out of your world. Sadly, she was likely only thinking of herself, and what she though would benefit her.
But, what if mom had to wear one of these when she wrote up all of what she wrote to make your dad look bad and made herself look great to the Judge? And, what if she was automatically charged with a false witness crime of lying under oath, and went to prison for trying to legally steal you from your dad by false testimony, slander, and libel?
What if all divorce cases were decided not by a judge but by a jury of peers, and both parents had to be present, and had to give their case while wearing a lie detector?
What if mom could not have her divorce unless dad showed up to court and only if he was found to be violent (with hard evidence, not just her lies) or was found to be having affairs? What if all people who knew both parents had to come in and give a testimony, also under the lie detector?
OPs: Orders for Protection
A LOOK AT FAMILY DIVORCE THROUGH THE LENS OF CHILD SUPPORT IN TEXAS
This is a national evil problem. It did not just destroy your relationship with your father.
Texas sheds light, exposing the heinous darkness that’s really going on.
The Sickest Person In The Relationship Controls The Relationship
One of the things I learned in graduate school in Marriage and Family Therapy was the following statement.
Whichever person is the sicker of the two…
the more dysfunctional….
the more unhealthy…
THIS is the one who controls the relationship!!
He or she, the SICKER one…
the more disfunctional person between the two…
is the CONTROLLER.
The controlling one is the SICKER, the least healthy, of the two people in the relationship.
I said it about four different ways.
Not everyone is the same level of healthy.
Sure, “water seeks its own level”… But, they are never completely level. One is always a little bit healthier.
And, what happens when one person starts rising up out of that level, starts getting better?
The sicker one is lower on the function/disfunction continuum,
and controls the relationship between them.
If my graduate school knew this… the family divorce courts also know this.
The Narcissist Personality Disorder
One of the diagnoses in the Diagnostic Statistics Manual (“DSM 5”) is the Narcissist. Narcissists, apparently, have great difficulty being content in relationships, having to often “UPGRADE” to someone more deserving of themselves. Consequently, we often experience or hear of vicious divorces cases involving a parent exhibiting a narcissist parental alienation syndrome by the parent and family who are being cut out of the child’s life. Below are the clinically observed symptoms from the DSM 5 of the narcissist. This person needs therapy!!
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), a cluster B personality disorder, is considered to be one of the least identified personality disorders (Pies, 2011). On the other hand, a good number of patients with narcissistic traits present at the psychiatrist’s office with other types of issues such as anxiety or depression. A common finding in clinical practice, NPD frequently coexists with other psychiatric disorders. NPD is a relatively recent diagnostic category. Its origins stem from a great effort between psychoanalysts and psychoanalytic psychotherapists to recognize a cluster of predominantly difficult patients who could not be classified as psychotic, not typically neurotic and overall not responsive to conventional psycho therapeutic treatment options (Gildersleeve, 2012).
NPD appears to be more widespread in males than females for unknown reasons. In the past there has been some speculation that the limited spotlight on grandiosity likely adds to the extensive discrepancy that is seen with small NPD prevalence rates in epidemiological research and elevated occurrences of NPD seen in clinical practice (Campbell, Miller, & Widiger, 2010).
The most important characteristics of NPD are grandiosity, seeking excessive admiration, and a lack of empathy (Ronningstam & Weinberg, 2013). These identifying features can result in a negative impact on an individual’s interpersonal affairs and life general. In most cases, on the exterior, these patients act with an air of right and control, dismissing others, and frequently showcasing condescending or denigrating attitudes. Nevertheless, internally, these patients battle with strong feelings of low self esteem issues and inadequacy. Even though the typical NPD patient may achieve great achievements, ultimately their functioning in society can be affected as these characteristics interfere with both personal and professional relationships. A large part of this is as result of the NPD patient being incapable of receiving disapproval or rebuff of any kind, in addition to the fact that the NPD patient typically exhibits lack of empathy and overall disrespect for others.
Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
The definition of NPD states that it comprises of a persistent manner of grandiosity, a continuous desire for admiration, along with a lack of empathy. It starts by early adulthood and occurs in a range of situations, as signified by the existence of any 5 of the next 9 standards (American Psychiatric Association, 2013):
A grandiose logic of self-importance
A fixation with fantasies of infinite success, control, brilliance, beauty, or idyllic love
A credence that he or she is extraordinary and exceptional and can only be understood by,or should connect with, other extraordinary or important people or institutions
A desire for unwarranted admiration
A senseof entitlement
Interpersonally oppressive behavior
No form of empathy
Resentment of others or a conviction that others are resentful of him or her
A displayof egotistical and conceited behaviors or attitudes
Another model, characterizes NPD as having fair or superior impairment in personality functioning, apparent by characteristic troubles in at least 2 of the following 4 areas (American Psychiatric Association, 2013):
NPD has similar characteristics with the other 3 cluster B personality disorders, and thus should be differentiated accordingly.
Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD)
Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
Histrionic personality disorder (HPD)
Additionally individuals with NPD may also meet the definition for also having axis I disorder, or exhibits features that similar to axis I disorders (CITE).
While no particular laboratory tests help with the diagnosis of NPD, a urine toxicology screen may be important to exclude substance abuse such as alcohol and drugs as likely reasons of the pathology.
Psychotherapy and Other Forms of Therapy
With individual psychoanalytic psychotherapy, much debate exists between the 2 key school of thoughts Kernberg and Kohut, both offering conflicting methods regarding the therapist’s role in treating NPD patients. Kernberg advocates a direct confrontation of the NPD patient during therapy, with the goal of eliminating or weakening the patient’s grandiosity. On the other hand, Kohut supports a more empathic role, that encourages the patient’s grandiosity, thus strengthening the patient’s naturally deficient self image (Gildersleeve, 2012). In therapy, a common form of treatment is a combination of both.
Some speculate that NPD patients may experience difficulty handing group sessions, since they lack the traits needed for group therapy like patience, connectivity, and empathy. Research maintains that the use of long-term group therapy offers NPD patients the avenue to improve trust with others and other crucial relationship aspects in a safe and controlled environment (Ronningstam & Weinberg, 2013).
The use of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) in treating NPD mainly involves the particular form of CBT[Cognitive Behavioral Therapy] recognized as schema-focused therapy, that focuses on fixing narcissistic schemas and the flawed moods and coping mechanisms (Matusiewicz, Hopwood, Banducci, & Lejuez, 2011).
No actual medications are indicated for the treatment of NPD. Given that patients may other co-morbid psychiatric issues, these patients sometimes benefit from using medications such as antidepressants, antipsychotics, as well as mood stabilizers (Ronningstam & Weinberg, 2013).
It is important for NPD patients to receive close long-term monitoring as there may be a potential risk for suicide, especially in patients who also have depression. While one can assume that giving the low self-esteem and high impulsive nature, suicidal behaviors should be directly linked with NPD (Campbell, Miller, & Widiger, 2010).
Ironically patients with NPD, also known as narcissists, are reportedly happier than others in society. Being highly materialistic, self-enhancing, entitled and impulsive, they may not learn from mistakes,and have a tendency to get into even greater trouble, notably legal and disciplinary (Ronningstam & Weinberg, 2013). These maladaptive coping mechanisms can result in issues in the work place or in school, or unemployment [or in their families, as we see].
Patients with NPD tend to be drawn to people of a high societal class, who think very highly of them (Campbell, Miller, & Widiger, 2010). The constant desire for admiration may cause romantic relationships to be short lived, as they constantly seek for something better, or when their lack of empathy becomes apparent to their partners (Ronningstam & Weinberg, 2013). So patients with NPD may exhibit an unforgiving nature and showcase anger and aggression in such close relationships (Ronningstam & Weinberg, 2013). This can also affect work relationships or any close group activities.
How To Know If You Are The Victim Of A Narcissist Parental Alienation Syndrome Parent
Most people between the age of 18 and 60 are adult children from divorced parents. Some of us were able to spend time with both of our parents. Sadly, others of us know one parent extremely well, yet we do not know the other parent well. Also, of course, there are many, many victimized and traumatized children who do not even know they are victims.
Here’s how you can know if you are the victim of a narcissist parental alienation syndrome parent:
If you live with only one of your parents, and your custodial parent, your mother, forbids you to speak with your father, to see your father (at all or very often), has taken steps to make this happen legally in court, and, also, forbids you to mention your father…
If your mom KEPT YOU or KEEPS YOUfrom your dad and his or her family (whether or not you were aware of it)…
And if your mom wanted you all to herself and REFUSED to allow you a relationship with your dad, your victimized, “TARGET” parent (thereby removing your rights as a citizen). This action culminates to the extreme your mom forbids you ever see or talk to your dad, or even talk about him (Yeah… you are probably well aware of this… you noticed…)….
Assuming your mom LIED or LIES, and talks negatively about your dad to the Court and to others… (whether you are aware of it or, most likely, are not aware of it)….
And if your mom tells or told others about how much you wanted to talk with your dad. Yet, your mom also makes it or made itseem like your dad, your victimized parent, abandoned you (whether or not you were aware of it)…
And, if dad never calls you (but your thought it was because he abandoned you, or you were told he abandoned you), never sends you a gift, never asks you if you want to come visit him (smell a huge rat!!! my own father told me (when I was almost 50, and about two years before he died) my grandmother (mom’s mom) had told him my mom moved to Germany with us; if she did (she has passed on now, so I cannot ask her) she lied to the man who was my dad)…
Also, assuming your mom, victimized and traumatized your dad and his or her family members by severing the natural father/child and father’s parents/grandchild relationships, IF you are unaware your victimized dad and family are, in reality, a SAFE and lovely dad and family…
And, IF you researched what others say and feel about the character of your dad….. (Yeah, you’re probably NOT aware of this, because your narcissistic brainwashing mother turned you against your father and his family)…
IF THESE OCCUR… THEN…
1. Your Narcissist Parental Alienation Syndrome mom abused you, tortured you, imprisoned you, keeping you from your dad. You ARE a victim in your mom’s storm path of psychological baggage debris. You need your dad, and he and his family belong in your life. Your mom essentially said, in effect, “You shall have no contact with your dad. Grow up… Live your life, as long as your dad is cut out of your life. And this will ensure your mother’s happiness.”
2. Your Narcissist Parental Alienation Syndrome mom abused your dad, who is also a victim, and also imprisoned by your mom. She emotionally ripped his heart out, and continues to do so. For years upon years upon years, your mom has caused post traumatic stress for your dad, while your narcissistic mother kept you to herself, probably left your dad with nothing, went on enjoying her life, as if there’s no consequences for her behaviors. (She believes this because she is a narcissist.) She likely kept moving up from one man to another, trying to find one worthy of her…. climbing the ladder of men to get that superior one.
3. Your Narcissist Parental Alienation Syndrome mom caused so much psychological trauma for YOUR dad, and sadly, for you, too… Though you may not be aware of it yet, you will figure it out in the future, yet it may not be before it destroys your own family, unless you are very proactive to restore your own psychological health and your relationship with your dad.
ALIENATOR PARENT: A LIAR AND A THIEF, PERPETRATOR AGAINST THE TARGET PARENT
4. Your Narcissist Parental Alienation Syndrome mom is a liar and continues to BEAR FALSE WITNESS to you, to the court, and to everyone else, against your victimized parent, your dad…
5. Your Narcissist Parental Alienation Syndrome mom is a thief.
She stole and is still stealing all that time you should been having a relationship with your victimized parent, your dad. (Why should you not be allowed to talk to your dad, just because your Narcissist Parental Alienation Syndrome mom “will have their feelings hurt”if you have a relationship with your dad)…
What is described in this photo I have witnessed… Clinically, I believe this may be considered a double bind. Double binds have been known to be at the root of schizophrenia. Mom should know this.
6. Your Narcissist Parental Alienation Syndrome mom skewed your perception of reality to the point it is severely flawed. Your mom brainwashed you. By now mom has taught you to believe your dad is evil or dispensable or does not deserve respect or abandoned you and does not love you. Nothing may be further from the truth….
7. Research shows when the Narcissist Parental Alienation Syndrome mom abuses her child, by forcing the severing of the father/child bond, the child often grows up to have many psychological issues and logical consequences to this skewed upbringing coming out of a broken marriage covenant. And, often, the same thing happens in the adult child’s own life, where either the adult child steals the children from his or her spouse, or the spouse steals the child/children from the adult child who grew up this way.
8. Your mom may have built a double bind in your mind, if she brainwashed you to believing though you wanted your dad to call and be in your life and visit, and that she really wished he would call and be in your life, yet legally she fixed it so your dad is not allowed to call you or spend time with you or contact you without paying for a supervised visit in an institution in the town in which you lived where the courts hold jurisdiction over your father’s behavior. Double binds caused by parents can lead to schizophrenia onset in children. Unless your mother has had graduate training in psychological diagnoses, she is probably not aware of this. If she has had this training, evidently she doesn’t care. Her greed and selfishness is just too important to her.
THE EVIL FAMILY COURT “JUSTICE” SYSTEM OF MODERN TIMES
Recent discovery suggests the courts give the children to the more dysfunctional parent.
Mr Dunn reported: “What did I get for the trouble of trying to be a good, involved parent?” Dunn asks in the column. “I had my fundamental liberty to participate in medical decisions for my child stripped away with no due process and a $7,500 fine, payable to my ex-wife, who was/is actively working to exclude me from my daughter’s life.”
The judiciary didn’t rule in Mr. Dunn’s favor. Instead, the state Court of Appeals issued a three-page opinion. In this, they balked at Dunn’s “frequent filing of motions and his conduct in general.” Consequently, they upheld the lower family court’s order to award legal fees to his ex-wife.
I have also done much research that feminine liberalists and people living abominable lifestyles (according to scriptures), joining up in certain organizations to encourage moms (this time I am definitely speaking about the mothers, not the fathers) to leave fathers and go for full custody.
SOCIETY, WE’VE GOT A BIG PROBLEM…
As you can see in the image below, a lack of fathers for children leads to a more aggressive society, which manifests in the form of bullying and the victims of that bullying. Often, this leads to suicide of the victims of bullying.Iron sharpens iron. And your mom is not going to deal with her baggage by sending your dad away. She’s NOT dealing with her stuff. In fact, she’s FORCING YOU to be LOADED DOWN with HER BAGGAGE, HER BURDEN, HER BROKENNESS. She does not want you to grow up, but to be hers and hers alone…. HER CHILD, HER CHILDREN, HER PRECIOUS!!
Don’t let anyone tell you your dad is not needed, or is indispensable. Your very DNA screams for your dad to be in your life. And, for your mom to be in your life. But, if your mom is not a safe person, and you’ve been with her all this time, you need to keep yourself safe. Get some distance so you can get some objectivity. Love mom, but get some safe objective distance.
The courts won’t acknowledge “parental alienation syndrome,” because it is not yet in the DSM 5 (Diagnostic Statistics Manual, mentioned above), though psychiatrists and psychologists see it and testify against it in court cases. Courts refuse to accept parental alienation syndrome as a syndrome. It also seems to suit their greedy purposes.
However, the ‘target’ parents (more often than not, this is the father) and ‘target’ children of this country deal with it.
Parents are “legally” separated from their children all the time.
CONTRAST THE WORLD’S BROKEN SOLUTIONS TO FAILED MARRIAGES
WITH THE SCRIPTURAL MODEL WITH BIBLICAL TIMES FAMILIES
Research shows most people living in North America come from the tribe of Joseph (YoCePh), from his son, Menasseh (“MeNaSheH”), and from his grandson, MaKiYR (“AMeRiKa”). Though this may be extremely new revelation to you, further research will reveal this. The odds are very high your ancestors from 3000 years ago were Hebrew, were rescued from Egypt by YaHuWaH ELoHiYM, the Creator, and the ALoHA of the Hebrews (Exodus 3:18); they enjoyed great blessings for their covenantal obedience, and they suffered great curses for abandoning the everlasting covenant they made with YaHuWaH at Mt. Sinai. In 722 bc, the ten northern tribes were kicked out of the land YaHuWaH ALoHA, the Creator, had given to them, due to living on their own terms and practicing idolatry. Their rebellion and disobedience brought a 2,730 year curse on them. This curse ended in 2009/2010. And, since then, major restoration has been poured out by the Creator to His ten hidden tribes. So, since you do not have time to research this now, assume what I am saying is true, until you can find out otherwise. For more on this, you can begin your research by watching Identity Crisis by James Staley (which shows what the scriptures say):
You can also watch The Ten Lost Tribes of Israel | Where They Went, What They Are Now Called (Part 1 + 2) by Joseph Dumond (a historical research study):
As the Messiah YaHuWShu’A said: a house divided against itself cannot stand. The U.S. of America is the House of Makiyr, of the house of Menasheh or the House of Yoceph (“Joseph”).
I listened to a common law attorney one time, who studied law. He also studied family law in the Hebrew Scriptures. He gave about six lectures I listened to. In one of them, he spoke about how divorces were handled in bible times. He shared: 3,000 years ago, among the Hebrews, the people of the ALoHA in the Scriptures, the children belonged to the husband. So, when a woman decided she no longer wanted to be with her husband, and she abandoned her husband, she also had to leave her children behind…. Why? Because they belonged to their dad. This little fact cut down significantly on wives abandoning their husbands and their affections for their husbands and their children. They, instead, likely opted to love their husbands, and to respect them. Therefore, their families stayed in tact. And, the children benefitted, as they should, from loving and knowing and learning from both their parents.
Could this be skewed so that the woman would have to live with an evil husband? Yes. But, there is always a RIGHTEOUS JUDGE, who sits on the throne. And whatever one sows, that is what one reaps.
BEYOND THE NARCISSIST PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME: RESTORATION OF HEARTS AND FAMILY
If you are an adult child of a Parental Alienation Syndrome Parent, you need to know there is a righteous JUDGE. You can be very certain HE is not part of a wicked judicial system of the corporation known as the United States of America. (Yes, it is actually a corporation, a business. That’s a whole other topic. You can research straw man for more information on that…. But, let’s get back to the REAL JUDGE… The Judge that is RIGHTEOUS.) His own name was removed from His children, so that they would not know Him. They thought another was their Father. They called Him “LORD” and “God”. But, that is not His Name.
I’m married to a man, Jonathan Matthew Wright, whose ex-wife, according to documents she and her attorney drew up, wanted to have Jonathan agree to have their oldest son’s last name changed so that he no longer bore the last name, Wright. Again, how hurtful!!
Our Creator, (whose name was changed in the King James translation)…. Whose name and title in the Hebrew Scriptures is YaHuWaH ALoHA, or ELoHiYM… He said in the ten commandments we are required to honor OUR FATHER AND OUR MOTHER, that it may go well with us and that we may live long in the land.
Leviticus (the real name of this book in the Hebrew is WaYiQRA, and means: And He called) 19:11-18 says:
11‘Do not steal, do not lie, do not deceive one another.
12‘And do not swear falsely by My Name and so profane the Name of your Elohim. I am יהוה (YaHuWaH).
13‘Do not oppress your neighbour or rob him. The wages of him who is hired is not to remain with you all night until morning.
14‘Do not curse the deaf or put a stumbling-block before the blind, but fear your Elohim. I am יהוה (YaHuWaH).
15‘Do no unrighteousness in right-ruling. Do not be partial to the poor or favour the face of the great, but rightly rule your neighbour in righteousness.
16‘Do not go slandering among your people. Do not stand against the blood of your neighbour. I am יהוה (YaHuWaH).
17‘Do not hate your brother in your heart. Reprove your neighbour, for certain, and bear no sin because of him.
18‘Do not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the children of your people. And you shall love your neighbour as yourself. I am יהוה (YaHuWaH).
Oftentimes, we see the phrase, I am YaHuWaH, found in verse 12, above. The Jewish sage, Rashi, stated this phrase is an expression of His infinity: I am faithful in paying reward, and faithful in meting our punishment. Only YaHuWaH can be assured He will live long enough to recompense everyone for every deed.
The Shema is found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9. It emphasizes YaHuWaH ELoHiYM’s maintenance of the world through unchanging and reliable laws. He provides man’s needs every minute. He regulates cycles and seasons and safeguards the perpetuation of species. He rewards and punishes each according to his deserts (what one deserves, what one has coming one’s way).
1“And this is the command, the laws and right-rulings which יהוה (YaHuWaH) your Elohim has commanded, to teach you to do in the land which you are passing over to possess,
2so that you fear יהוה (YaHuWaH)your Elohim, to guard all His laws and His commands which I command you, you and your son and your grandson, all the days of your life, and that your days be prolonged.
3“And you shall hear, O Yisra’ĕl, and shall guard to do, that it might be well with you, and that you increase greatly as יהוה Elohim of your fathers has spoken to you, in a land flowing with milk and honey.
4“Hear, O Yisra’ĕl: יהוה (YaHuWaH) our Elohim, יהוה (YaHuWaH) is one!
5“And you shall love יהוה (YaHuWaH) your Elohim with all your heart, and with all your being, and with all your might.
6“And these Words which I am commanding you today shall be in your heart,
7and you shall impress them upon your children, and shall speak of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up,
8and shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.
9“And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
10“And it shall be, when יהוה (YaHuWaH) your Elohim brings you into the land of which He swore to your fathers, to Aḇraham, to Yitsḥaq, and to Ya‛aqoḇ, to give you great and good cities which you did not build,
11and houses filled with all kinds of goods, which you did not fill, and wells dug which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant, and you shall eat and be satisfied –
12be on guard, lest you forget יהוה (YaHuWaH)who brought you out of the land of Mitsrayim, from the house of bondage.
13“Fear יהוה (YaHuWaH) your Elohim and serve Him, and swear by His Name.
14“Do not go after other mighty ones, the mighty ones of the peoples who are all around you,
15for יהוה (YaHuWaH) your Elohim is a jealous Ěl in your midst, lest the displeasure of יהוה (YaHuWaH) your Elohim burn against you, then He shall destroy you from the face of the earth.
16“Do not try יהוה (YaHuWaH) your Elohim as you tried Him in Massah.
17“Diligently guard the commands of יהוה (YaHuWaH) your Elohim, and His witnesses, and His laws which He has commanded you.
18“And you shall do what is right and good in the eyes of יהוה (YaHuWaH), that it might be well with you, and you shall go in and possess the good land of which יהוה swore to your fathers,
19to drive out all your enemies from before you, as יהוה (YaHuWaH) has spoken.
20“When your son asks you in time to come, saying, ‘What is the meaning of the witnesses, and the laws, and the right-rulings which יהוה (YaHuWaH) our Elohim has commanded you?’
21then you shall say to your son, ‘We were slaves of Pharaoh in Mitsrayim, and יהוה (YaHuWaH) brought us out of Mitsrayim with a strong hand,
22and יהוה (YaHuWaH) sent signs and wonders, great and grievous, upon Mitsrayim, upon Pharaoh, and upon all his household, before our eyes.
23‘And He brought us out from there, to bring us in, to give us the land of which He swore to our fathers.
24‘And יהוה (YaHuWaH) commanded us to do all these laws, to fear יהוה (YaHuWaH) our Elohim, for our good always, to keep us alive, as it is today.
25‘And it is righteousness for us when we guard to do all this command before יהוה (YaHuWaH) our Elohim, as He has commanded us.’
HONORING BOTH PARENTS IS A COMMAND OF THE CREATOR
Since the narcissist parental alienation syndrome mom destroyed your relationship with your victimized dad, consequently, to be fair to yourself and to your dad, he deserves equal, concentrated time with you. Assuming he is safe, (and contrary to what your mom would like you to continue believing) you must focus a great deal of effort to recover and restore your relationship with your dad.
If you’re an adult, you really owe it to this victimized parent, your dad, to spend as much time with him as you spent with your narcissist parental alienation syndrome parent… though the severing of the relationship was NO FAULT OF YOUR OWN OR YOUR DAD’S. It was ONE person’s fault: that of the narcissist parental alienation syndrome parent.
You may not be mature enough before you are 25 or so to do this. But, do it as soon as you can accept the gravity of the situation for yourself and your own well being. Though you may have lost that loving feeling for dad (mom’s brainwashing will do that), the sooner, the better, for both of you.
TEENS HAVE A TOUGH TIME WITHOUT THEIR DADS!!
YOU NEED DAD AND DAD NEEDS YOU!!
If you’re even 14, there are things you can demand to get back in your dad’s life… Even to the extent of getting yourself before the Judge in your mom’s divorce case, or seeking some type of teen advocate and telling them your story and asking them to get you help. Your rights have been taken from you by mom and the court. You have a lot more power than you think.
Somehow, you’ve got to get mom to let you go visit dad. Tell mom you want to talk to the Judge. Tell mom you want to go live with dad, if that is what you want. And, you will come visit her or she can come visit you. And you will talk to mom on the phone once a week.
UNLEARN THE DECEPTIONS… RELEARN THE TRUTH
First, stop believing the alienating parent who stole you from your OTHER, “target,” victimized parent. You’ve got to hear both sides FULLY. Chances are… You know mom’s side inside and out, frontward and backward.
Now, you need to fully hear your other parent’s side of the story.
Equal hearing time, equal listening time.
Stop being the pawn and start being the educated observer of your family’s dynamics, rightly dividing truth from what is not truth.
Go search the truth on your own. You need to deeply research Parental Alienation Syndrome. There’s a ton of information. Get as familiar as you can with the subject, so you can start to develop some rational thinking and objectivity, as well as a perception of the global problem… about what really happened.
I saw this on a post on Facebook page, which supports the victimized parent and grandparents. The response, below, was the following:
In my husband’s case,his ex-wife’s attorney threatened to have him arrested if he returned to the state of Louisiana.
Also, his ex-wife knew the Judge, who granted her everything she asked for, awarded half of her college loans to Jonathan to pay, ordering child support, while removing all his father’s rights. Yet, the narcissist parental alienation syndrome parent, in this case, never even served Jonathan divorce papers. She performed the whole divorce ACT without the father even invited to court. She also withheld evidence, obstructing justice, and she personally knew the Judge and worked with him, which of course, they both knew was a conflict of interest.
Sometimes the truth is just too painful for people to know, especially when it deals with one or more parents, and we don’t really want to know the truthful details. But, often, if you’re brave enough, you can do a lot of research just looking at your own parents’ divorce filed papers.
BEING THE INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST…STRIVE TO BE OBJECTIVE
First of all, objectively research how vicious divorces go. Learn how the narcissist parental alienation syndrome parent destroys both the child/children and the victimized parents. Many minor children, adult children and “target” parents talk about the tragedy the alienating parent inflicted on them. Many court cases share case specifics and how the court ruled in the favor of one parent and against the other parent. It’s as easy as searching youtube and the internet for the evidence. Visit some of the groups, highlighted in some of the images here. Start to develop some empathy for the parents who are “legally” removed from their children’s lives.
I once saw a case in Monroe, Louisiana, where a psychiatrist “tested” the family members and told the Judge the mother (in this case, it really was the mother) had so poisoned the children against their father that he recommended the children immediately be given to the father, with full custody, and that the mom was not safe to be around the children, and, I believe, she was given supervised visitation once a month. All that is research that can be done, online. Just search Parental Alienation Syndrome, Monroe, Louisiana.
CAUTIOUSLY INTERVIEW EYE WITNESSES AND EAR WITNESSES
(EVERYTHING ELSE IS GOSSIP… remember people are subjective, have selective memories, and they will NOT be hooked up to a lie detector)
Next, start interviewing people who personally know your alienated parent, your dad. Consider speaking with all the people who knew him before he succumbed to your mom’s tactics to remove him from the family. Be aware… They may be biased. They may speak gossip, repeating what they have heard from others. You are looking for honest testimony of nothing but the truth. You should limit the testimony you will receive to what each witness actually saw or heard first hand, not gossip to repeat.
Next, talk with people who have been with your dad since he started his life over with nothing, or at least without you. Speak with his family of origin. His new wife (your stepmom) will be a great source of what kind of dad your dad is, with his other biological or stepchildren or adopted children, if there are any. Talk with your dad’s family members about what your dad is like. Ask his wife for friends who know your dad, and would give a reference of what his character is like.
If your dad turns out to be truly evil, after you have thoroughly researched him, keep yourself safe. But, you DO need a safe dad. Only if your dad proves to be not a righteous and safe person, you still need a dad figure. One who is righteous, and who is safe, not just because he is in a relationship with your mom and your mom wants you to call him dad. Find one. Adopt one. But, only do this if your own dad is not truly a loving and safe person.
However, if your investigation shows your victimized parent is a wonderful dad, and your narcissistic parental alienation syndrome mom also victimized him, just as you were, it’s time to go meet him learn to love him. You’ve got to be de-brainwashed. Your dad’s wounds will never be okay. Your PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME PARENT stole so much time and love and relationship from him!! Your dad didn’t get to love on you, hold you, speak into your life, share with you the rich heritage of his upbringing and ancestry and family, and be your dad. Your mom stole all this from him, and spiritually, there is a Judge who will judge righteously on what your mom did.
Do some objective research on mom, too. There’s no one who knows mom like dad knows her. But, try to get some objective looks at what mom is like as a person from those who know her very well. Dad has his own subjectivity, caused by his wounds and the pit your mom dug for him that he has not figured out how to overcome it. The pain is so raw and so chronic and so acute. It is just impossible for children and adult children to know the love of a parent until they are parents and this kind of stuff happens to you.
And, you may see your mom’s family in a more truthful and objective light, also.
Keep your eyes open.
There’s generational curse stuff that happens. You need to know how is that going to effect you, and how to heal from generational curses.
HONESTLY…. WHICH ONE OF YOUR PARENTS IS MOST LIKE THIS WITH REGARD TO HOW THEY TREAT EACH OTHER?
AFTER RESEARCHING, REACH OUT… MAKE CONTACT
It’s time. Know your other parent. Your goals? Restore… Make up for the lost time. Little by little, week in and week out, the narcissist parental alienation syndrome mom brainwashed you to hate and to distrust and to feel abandoned by your dad. She victimized and traumatized your dad. And she may have relayed to your dad you hate him, as well, and that you said you never want to speak to him, again.
Pack your Parental Alienation Syndrome Parent’s baggage and send it back to her. After all… It belongs to her, ONCE you heal from the damage she caused. Indeed, this event of your mom’s doing has caused you to now have your own baggage, and you, hopefully, will deal with it, and heal.
Go live near your parent that lost you in some evil horrible kidnapping, whether ‘legal,’ court-sanctioned or not. Get to know your victimized parent.
Really work at learning to walk a mile in your dad’s shoes.
At this point, I would like to say ALoHA to my stepsons, who I’ve never met, and tell them how very much your dad loves you and how much he grieves for you. So much has been stolen, most of it being love and caring and time together… Lives broken apart.
But, this was a journey you were all forced to take and to make the best of it.
Restore all that was lost.
Your dad is here. Just reach out to him.
You know how to get in touch with him. He is on Facebook, always. Jonathan Matthew Wright.
Jon Bailey Wright, you’re already 18, and in college, now (I wrote this in August 2018).
Your dad was forced to miss your formative teenage years, your football, your graduation, and now your college years.
But, you will be a man when you separate enough from mom to do what is right, not what mom wants you to do.
It is not a betrayal of mom to start talking to your dad on the phone and having a relationship with him.
This is your dad, and he raised you, while mom was working or wherever she was.
This is the one the Creator chose to teach you how to be a man.
Casey Wright, you’re old enough to start demanding you be allowed to see your dad and talk to your dad.
When and if you decide you want to come visit your dad or even move to be with your dad, get in touch with us or get in touch with Grandma Bonnie.
Tell your mom you want to talk to the Judge and you want to go live with Dad (or talk with dad freely on the phone, or visit dad).
Please tell your little brother, Nolan Wright, your dad loves him.
He waits for you all to find him, to reach out to him. You should never had had to endure growing these last few years without your dad with you.
Oh, these “TARGET” parents grieve to the core!! Please become empathetic and caring and respect what your parent had to endure. For a young person without children it’s just not even possible to feel the pain that the alienator inflicted on her victim!!
Have empathy for how dad grieved the loss of you, his child… How he cried himself to sleep so many nights… How he suffered deep depression because your mom stole you from him. Your mom victimized your dad. He could do nothing.
Share your grief with dad. Tell him you deeply regret the loss of relationship your narcissist parental alienation syndrome parent stole from you both.
Acknowledge your mom prevented your dad from being there for you, [most oftentimes legally] preventing him or her from being in your life. And, oftentimes the perpetrating ex-spouse causes crippling financial punishments to fall upon the child’s other parent. So, it is quite likely, your mom stripped your dad, financially. She likely put him in financial bondage to her and to the government, where he could not even afford to visit you.
That’s not all your mom took… Your mom also stole you from your dad’s family.
Restore, restore, restore….
Bring some joy to his or her life and bring his or her child (you) back to your victimized parent. You don’t have to come to hate the narcissist parent. Just start making up for lost time. It’s the victimized parent’s turn to have you in his or her life, now.
You’ve lost half of your greatest life’s influence because your one parent stole it from you. And, your victimized parent’s heart broke, over and over. He or she lost so much that they never retrieve. Just keep reminding yourself: “Dad and I have suffered chronic and acute abuse and pain.”
Heal together. You’re both victims of the same perpetrator. You need each other. And don’t forget to help your siblings seek healing and find peace, as well.
FORGIVE!!! IT’S NOT YOUR DAD’S FAULT AND IT’S SURE NOT YOUR FAULT,
AND MOM’S SINFUL NATURE HAS BLINDED HER AND MADE HER COLD
In healing together, you can better help each other forgive the narcissist abusing parent, and each other, if necessary, for perceived abandonment.
One dad shared this:
It’s about healing and letting go and restoring for the reason that you should desire for both of you to be whole and to recover. There’s no reason to allow the damage to continue distancing you. Put great effort into healing self and this critically important relationship between your dad and you.
There’s no reason to build fences to keep parents away from their kids. Fences naively meant to protect mom’s heart become the child’s prison, locking up natural healthy relationship development with their dad. Look for mom having issues with her own dad. Was mom also a victim of a mom who didn’t want to stay married to her daughter’s father? Look, again, for generational curses at play.
Consequentially, the damage perpetrated on you and your dad was caused by a damaged woman, due to her own life experiences, poor parenting, generational curses (by the non faith-based psychological community, this could be seen as a generational pattern, not a curse).
If your grandmother cheated on her husband, and your mother cheated on her husband, you may want to go through a scriptural spiritual cleansing program to renounce those generational curses (or “patterns”).
If your great grandpa was an alcoholic, and your grandpa was an alcoholic, and if your mom is an alcoholic, you should desire to break that generational curse (“Pattern”), as well.
There is help. This is not an isolated freak child custody case gone wrong!! This is rampant!!
RETALIATION, REVENGE, PUNISHMENT AND POUTING
Your narcissist parental alienation syndrome mom may “act out” when you start moving emotionally, then physically, toward your dad.
Forewarning is forearming. Again, research other parents whose children finally got in touch with their fathers. Seemingly, this could also look similar to how adoptive parents feel and react when their grown children go off to find one or more of their biological parents, and seek to connect with them.
Let your mom know your still love her, but you also love your dad. And, it’s only fair in your eyes that you now spend the same amount of time with him as you have spent with her.
Prepare and anticipate how to respond to your parents in their hurt. And,, hopefully, the only REVENGE you’ll see is this!!
A NOTE TO THE NARCISSIST PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME GREEDY SELFISH PARENT WHO DID THIS
You forgot THE GOLDEN RULE,…DIDN’T YOU… Some people believe in karma. But, in the Hebrew Scriptures, it is quite evident with YaHuWaH ALoHA, WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND. What you plant, that you will reap. You planted narcissist parental alienation syndrome manifestation. You can expect to reap what you have sown.
There is a righteous Judge in heaven who knows you. He knows your brokenness. He knows every sin you have committed and every crime, as well….though you may think you’ve done a great job of fooling everyone else. There is no way to undo what you have done. But, scripturally, you must try. You must repent–turn back from this evil to the Creator and His Way.
Do you remember His way? He has a lot of commandments, but they are summed up into two:
1. Love YaHuWaH your ELoHiYM with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength.
2. Love your neighbor as yourself.
You’ve been loving a lot. But, it has not been love for your neighbor (who would include the husband you forced away).
Do not think you will be able to get away with this your whole rest of your life. You won’t. Your children will become glaringly aware that you were and are a narcissist parental alienation syndrome parent, and that you, alone, bear the responsibility for the shattering of their past, present, and future.
To rectify this, you must make this as right as rain as you can. And you need to start by confronting yourself about what you did.
Write it out. Detail by detail.
Hope your memory is as good as ELoHiYM’s memory of what you did.
You need to get honest, and stop being a liar.
You need to dismiss all child support orders and all late fees and all penalties. Waive them all. It can be done. I did it… $90,000 worth. My ex hasn’t paid child support in years. AND I have full custody AND I let the children spend time with him and talk to him on the phone. AND, when I have an extra expense, he helps me meet the need if he can.
YOU DIDN’T REALLY NEED THE MONEY AFTER ALL… AFTER ALL, YOU HAVE BEEN PROVIDING FOR THE CHILDREN
Obviously, you have been raising your child by yourself without the payments. Or, alternatively, narcissist parental alienation syndrome mom, if you have been receiving your court-ordered child support all this time, I have a suggestion for you now… It’s your turn. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. You need to send your children to live with their other parent and visit you, up to 35% of the time, after some initial balancing the scales for about two years or more, depending on how long you have been holding everyone hostage for your emotional baggage.
And now, it is YOUR turn to pay child support to the other parent, the same amount, according to the court guidelines, that he has been paying to you, under court order. This is wise counsel.
Get out from under the court orders. Stop involving the courts in your family’s lives.
The children need both their parents. And, you have sorely robbed from both of them their time together out of your jealousy and narcissism, hatred, and/or greed.
You need to get over your hatred of your ex-spouse. You married him, and you had children with him. And, they are half his children. Your hatred has been murderous for your ex-spouse.
Spiritually, we are in a Season of Restoration from the Father. You might want to get in on the restoration blessings of the Father.
Set The Record Straight
You need to set the record straight in court of how you misrepresented and lied against your former husband in order to get all you wanted your way. Tell the truth to the court, to your friends, and to your children. Completely confess what you did wrong, including all obstruction of justice and hiding the facts you knew were true but did not tell, and telling “facts” you knew were lies, but told because you thought you could get away with it.
You need to DEBRIEF your children. IN other words, you need to unbrainwash them, tell them what you did that was so evil. Ask them for their forgiveness, and send them to their dad.
Every evil thing you did you need to UNDO!! And THEN, you need to make financial restitution to your spouse for the stress and the grief you forced upon him. You need to fear a righteous ELoHiYM in the heavens Who cares for His servants that serve Him. And, He puts a hedge of protection around them. You need to ask for forgiveness for all you have hurt. And, you need to read and DO what the Word says. May I suggest a restored name scriptures, such as the ISR at Bible Hub: https://biblehub.com/isr/deuteronomy/28.htm
You may feel you need to beg your ex-spouse to let your speak to your children after what you have put him and your children through with your narcissist parental alienation syndrome manifestations.
Well some healing time needs to occur. But, somehow, I think dad knows his children need to hear mom and talk to mom and see her frequently, after there has been some balance in the time the children were with you, and after you prove you are no longer of any ill-intent against their dad.
It sounds like you need a great deal of therapy for your narcissist parental alienation syndrome.
I would also suggest the Generational Curses teaching for you. Part 1 is called Generational Iniquity.
1The separatist seeks his own desire; He breaks out against all sound wisdom.
2A fool does not delight in understanding, But in uncovering his own heart.
3When a wrong one comes, scorn comes too. And with shame comes reproach.
4The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters; The fountain of wisdom is a flowing stream.
5It is not good to show partiality to the wrong, Or to turn aside the righteous in right-ruling.
6A fool’s lips enter into strife, And his mouth calls for blows.
7A fool’s mouth is his ruin, And his lips are the snare of his life.
8The words of a slanderer are like delicacies, And they go down into the inner parts of the heart.
9Also, he who is slack in his work Is a brother of a master destroyer.
10The Name of יהוה is a strong tower; The righteous run into it and are safe.
11The rich man’s wealth is his strong city, And like a high wall in his own imagination.
12Before destruction the heart of a man is haughty, And before esteem is humility.
13He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him.
14The spirit of a man sustains him in sickness, But who does bear a broken spirit?
15The heart of the understanding one gets knowledge, And the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.
16A man’s gift makes room for him, And brings him before great men.
17The first to state his own case, seems right, Until another comes and examines him.
18The lot settles disputes, And separates between the mighty.
19A brother transgressed against is a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a citadel.
20A man’s stomach is satisfied From the fruit of his mouth; He is satisfied with the increase of his lips.
21Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those loving it eat its fruit.
22He who has found a wife has found good, And receives favour from יהוה.
23The poor speaks beseechingly, But the rich answers fiercely.
24A man of many friends might come to ruin, But there is a Loving One Who sticks closer than a brother!
Mitigate Your Relationship “In Richer and in Poorer” (Prepare for Marriage and Divorce)
Finally, young adult child, victim of the narcissist parental alienation syndrome parent who stole your dad from your life, if you’re in a marriage or planning to marry, inform yourself. Also, if your spouse that she no longer wants to be married to you, don’t bury your head in sand. I have seen men, in particular, do this. Educate yourself!! I encourage you to read, here, to learn how to avoid these issues, before the fact: https://12tribesibriy.com/mitigate-marriage-divorce-society-look-signs-try-overcome-collateral-damages/